Day 85 Tuesday July 3

FOOD:

Breakfast:
steak and omega 3 eggs

Lunch:
Salmon- not farm raised

Dinner:
sm. steak

EXERCISE:
WEIGHT: 282
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Back to staying up late and sleeping late. Didn't walk yesterday and actually feel good today- like maybe I needed a rest from it. I am starting to think, especially as I get older, that the resting and recovery is the most productive part of exercise. And I'm not really up to anything grindingly difficult anyway. Reading stuff lately on how killer cardio isn't all that great for you. The better solution is light cardio (walk), moderate weight training, and perhaps occasional hard aerobics like sprinting, if you're in shape for that. I'm down with that. I do want to start lifting, but I've had problems doing that. It's dumb- I'm so disorganized. I bought a bench and rack, but now I need a new barbell. And I'm paranoid about dropping a weight on my cat. So now I'm thinking about bringing my weight stuff to the woods or something and lifting there. It's only once a week, right? But it's a lot to truck out there, and won't work so well once I'm back at work, and it would be nice to play the radio perhaps.

On another note, I'm worse than broke right now. A few unexpected expenses, combined with my ADDish lack of financial discipline and paperwork control, mean that I'm officially fucked. I'm scrambling to get some money now. This sucks. One thing after another.

Reading interesting stuff about the relationship between dopamine and insulin resistance.

Going through old posts today. Recognizing that I had a few tough spots with my exgirlfriend leaving and my cat dying. Also a few financial emergencies that really sunk me. But overall my mood has been improved. Still no progress with women or sleeping, but my ability to do chores is way improved. Getting money stuff under control, clearing out inbox backlogs, filing, getting organized, cleaned out the storeroom, cleaned out junk from the van, creating new routines to stay organized. Planning little outings to festivals and stuff. If I had more money I'd be doing pretty well right now. But I don't, so now I'm dead in the water for months. Again, hoping something will rescue me, but I don't see what. I'm trying to sell stuff online to get money now. Wish me luck!

Oh, meeting girl for coffee at 3pm today. Not excited. God, I don't know why I'm so glum about this kind of stuff. It's like a dentist appointment to me. She seems okay, kinda quirky and cool. I wonder if she smokes pot though, and if that will interfere with what I'm trying to do. Don't really enjoy this sort of thing. Guess that's why I'm not good at it.