Day 175 Sunday September 30

FOOD

1 lb rib meat no sauce
2 lg coffees

3 burgers, 2 with cheese (no bread)
and ketchup
diet pop
1 1/2 pork chops with bbq sauce

lots of chocolate cake

sesame chicken
rice
teriyaki beef
(too full, but forced myself to eat this "treat", because I'm going to get stricter in my diet tomorrow. Stupid diet mentality)

WEIGHT 285
CAFFEINE lots
SLEEP 9 hours?
SUN
EXERCISE
BLOOD SUGAR
KETONES

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS
Hang with friends. Nice time. Spent time in woods. Meditated for 5 minutes. Want to start meditating, and I certainly did that. Nice to be outside.

I always find myself in the woods, trying to relax and get a "green dose", and all I do is obsess on chores. Sometimes I realize that all my chores are stupid. Most are things I could do, only a few are vital, and they aren't done because they're paperwork and I could probably do all of them in a few days if I had more motivation and money (bills are a chore category that stumps me duet to lack of funds sometimes. You need money to get stuff done. Without money many chores can't possibly get done anyway.)

None of these chores are really goals, or real projects. Things I want to achieve. Things that I want to do, or have a good payoff I can visualize. Just stuff I could do, or stuff I should do. Nothing I want to do. Chore mentality. When it comes to what I want to do I can't decide, and don't have drive. Well, sun's going down, time to leave the woods, with nothing settled. Too bad I couldn't just enjoy the trip to the woods in its own right. It was a venue to solve problems I didn't solve anyway.

Blah.

Okay day, still, anyway. Stayed up too late though.