Day 169 Monday September 24th

FOOD

I didn't eat anything today. I had a lot of carbs yesterday.


WEIGHT 255
CAFFEINE two super large coffees, coffee lunch
SLEEP about 9 hours I think
SUN
EXERCISE
BLOOD SUGAR
KETONES none at all

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS
Pretty crazy. I had so many carbs yesterday even though I didn't eat anything today, when I did the ketostix I had a negative result.

I was in an OK mood today. Busy day, started with my new department, but getting enough sleep, and low carbing, really seem to help.

Also, today in the morning I took a phentermine tablet. It's an energy booster for sure.

Day 166 Friday September 21st

FOOD
Bacon and eggs

A few tater tots
A few peas
Meatballs

Fasting in the PM


WEIGHT 254
CAFFEINE about 6 cups of coffee
SLEEP 9 hours
SUN
EXERCISE
BLOOD SUGAR
KETONES

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS
Today it was a pretty crazy day. I began to shift to the new department today. It was sad to leave some of my old coworkers behind and I think some of them were unhappy to see me leave. It was nice to meet my new groups and I'm excited about my new position but there will be more work involved of course. I'm planning on just taking it easy this weekend and kind of preparing for Monday. I had a headache a throughout the day, which could probably be attributed to the stress of the day. Felt fairly sharp at least in terms of interpersonal / work related activities today. And then after work I had a burst of energy and stayed late and got some things done to prepare for Monday. So, I could attribute my increased productivity to the fact that I have not been eating carbohydrates, but it could also just be that I don't have much of that choice. Usually I procrastinate until I have no choice but to start getting ready and I guess I'm at that point now. I guess the difference is it's not my fault I just didn't find out what's going on until the last minute. So at the very least I'm doing things in the last minute but I don't feel guilty you're angry with myself and I know I'm just doing the best I can and things will work out fine in the end anyway. I'm also hoping I can ramp up this voice recognition software and use it to help in my new position.

Come to think of it, I did eat carbs today. The tater tots and peas. Fuck.

Day 165 Thursday September 20

FOOD:

Fasting in the AM

Grass fed beef no condiments
Bacon and eggs

WEIGHT: 253
CAFFEINE : lots of coffee in the morning
SLEEP: nine hours
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Today was an OK day I suppose. I had more problems with procrastination in the morning and was feeling angry with myself as the result. As the day went on I was given more information about the changes that will take place at work regarding my department change. So, I said goodbye to a few people, and will say goodbye to more people tomorrow at work. I'm starting to realize that this change is really going to happen and it's happening tomorrow. Or at least I will meet my new department tomorrow. Some of them I already know and they will be surprised to see me there. It's also starting to sink in that in the long run this change will probably be for the better although the way it's taking place is pretty messed up. As the day went on I became more positive because at least now I know what's going to happen and can start preparing. I hope I can take the bull by the horns and be proactive about this change and make it work well, or as well as can be expected.

As I mentioned before, learning more about how ketones affect the brain has been very interesting to me. It encourages me to become more strict about my diet. Especially after seeing how fasting boosts my mood.

Well, I had better get to sleep now. If I go to sleep right now, that will give me nine hours.

Day 164 Wednesday September 19

FOOD:

Bacon and eggs for breakfast

Liver for lunch
Also a small bit of rice and corn

Fasting in the PM


WEIGHT: 255
CAFFEINE: coffee, lots
SLEEP: 6 hours?
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Well, today was an OK day in the end, I suppose. During the day I was a little frustrated and I've been procrastinating with things at work and the haven't been very productive. I've been putting off doing some things at work for a while and then I tried being a little more productive and had some setbacks today and was feeling frustrated. Then I started to have some more successes and I guess I just started feeling more confident. Also I didn't eat much junk today and continued fasting in the afternoon and it seems to improve my mood as I've noticed before. I also read some interesting things today about ketones and low carb diets in Alzheimer's disease. Apparently diet is a large risk factor for Alzheimer's disease. So much so that some have actually referred to Alzheimer's as type three diabetes. Ketones apparently are the brain's preferred source of fuel and brain runs better with ketones. I've read a number of different things that seem to support this, and it ties in with some of the things I've been thinking about in terms of low carb being a good thing for the brain, and for brain health in general. I am also bought that sense high carbohydrate diets caused insulin resistance, in which the body can't use insulin and glucose properly, perhaps something similar happens with the brain. So then that the brain that cannot get the glucose it needs, or uses it inefficiently. Ketones are a back door source of fuel, one which the brain actually prefers to use. Low carbohydrate diets, or ketogenic diets, have been used with some success to fight cancers, brain cancers, parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's.

One other thing that I started to think more about is my use of diet soda. I've read some negative things about aspartame, and I'm not sure what to believe. However, I have read some indications that artificial sweeteners cause the same kind of carbohydrate craving that real sweeteners do. This seems to make sense to me, because on days where I'm eating more carbohydrates, I also ended up drinking more diet sodas. I'm not sure which is causing more of my cravings for more carbohydrates, the carbs themselves or the diet sodas, but I have a feeling that both are doing so. I definitely feel some kind of craving for diet pop, and I need to be more diligent about avoiding it.

All the crazy things happening at work are pretty frustrating to me but over time I guess I'm getting a little bit more of sense of perspective about it. I really think in the end it could be a very good thing for me to make the changes that they have been making, but it's going to be difficult in the short run

Also in a side note, for anyone who reads this, and I'm not sure that anyone does, I'm composing this entry with speech recognition software period so if during the crazy mistakes it's not my fault!

Also, i've been getting a little bit better about getting enough sleep. I've been getting almost 10 hours of sleep a night but last night only six. So it was a little hard are getting up this morning but not too bad because most days I do get enough sleep. Well, with that I guess I should finish up this entry and get to sleep myself now. Good night!

Day 163, Tuesday September 18

FOOD:

fasting in the AM

Grass fed beef with some ketchup

10 chicken nuggets from McDonald's with barbecue sauce
Double hamburger from McDonald's with no bun
No diet pop with this meal, only water

WEIGHT: 258
CAFFEINE: coffee
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Today I guess I was in a pretty bad mood. I really didn't get much done at work today, I was procrastinating all day, I don't know what's going to happen at work, so why should I do anything. Then, when I got home from work that I was feeling very low energy. I made a few phone calls, even though I didn't really feel like talking to anyone. But, then I finally dragged myself out of the house and went to an ADD meeting. And that ended up being OK, I guess. One guy was talking my ear off though, and that was kind of a bummer. I realize the problem I was having at work wasn't because I didn't know what do, it was just that I was too lazy to do it. I guess one thing that cheered me up a little is that I've discovered some ways to improve my mood. So exercise, sunlight, sufficient sleep, and low carbs are all things which improve my mood. I just need to remember to do these things. Although good physical how is obviously very important, improving my mood and my brain health are even more important.

Day 159 Friday September 14

FOOD:
fast in AM

sesame chicken
rice
grassfed stew
diet pop

pizza WITH CRUST
RC!


WEIGHT: 252
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
What made me eat the pizza and pop? Hanging with buddy who's a bad influence on me. I ate before I left so I wouldn't be hungry. Guess I felt bad making friend eat pizza alone. Also craving it, prob because of the rice and sweet seasame chicken I've been eating lately.

Day 158 Thursday September 13

FOOD:
breakfast: Sesame chicken, a few cups, with a little rice
coffee

1 pc chicken and a little rice for lunch

Fast in PM

WEIGHT: 252
CAFFEINE: coffee
SLEEP: 10 hours
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Felt less wired and juiced then yesterday. But good, placid, and productive at work. A coworkder told me I seemed pissed off. I was venting a little about the chaos at work, which is a legit gripe, but I think the lack of sleep, tons of coffee and the addition of the phentermine AND the fasting made me a little wired yesterday. Drumming my fingers and humming. Strange for me. Strange to me that fasting seems to energize me. I'm still getting used to this. What a surprise.

Hung around a little after work doing stuff. Okay day. More sleep is good, without a doubt. Much easier getting up in the morning. Also feel more sociable at work. Then tonight I emailed this girl back who emailed me first. Told her to call me and she did. Set up a date for this Saturday. She sounds pretty cool. Sent an email to another girl tonight as well. I've been getting motivate to get back into the dating scene. Watching inspirational videos as well. (NOT pornos, just pep talks for dating I guess you could say) I'm in a good space right now. Weight is dropping with the fasting, even though my diet has not been great. If I could tighten that up, AND get back into exercising and tanning, wow.

Day 157 September 12 Wednesday

FOOD:

Fast in AM

mongolian beef
some rice


WEIGHT: 252
CAFFEINE: LOTS!!!
SLEEP: 6 hours
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES: moderate

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Started fast yesterday at noon. I find such a boost from the 24 hour fast! It's really unexpected. Focused at work, talking to women at work and feeling good. Wired.
Well, I also took a phentermine capsule this morning. It's a stimulant I used to pair with effexor for weight loss, when I saw a doc for weight loss. Effexor makes me feel a little dreamy and weird. I drank a ton of coffee, with the phentermine and no food, I was a bundle of energy. Felt good actually. It's 8:30 and I'm going to bed. Need to get back to sleeping more, getting sun( tanning now that season is changing, but I"m broke), and visiting health club. Can't let work overwhelm me. Need to set a schedule to leave and arrive and keep to it. Need to carve out time for sun, weights and sleep and keep to that. Then the rest of the time is leisure and chores. Probably should block that out too? I wonder about getting to picky and then things don't fit. But I keep having this idea of planning with broad strokes. Like 6-7 get ready/ 7-4 is work, 4-5 is exercise. 5-6 is chores 6-8 is eat and relax. Sounds simple, but I'm sure I could make it too complicated. So don't then, Frank! Ok, I'm going to bed! Start with one of my goals at least.

Also, the intermittent fasting sure drops the weight.

Day 156 Tuesday September 11

FOOD:
bacon and eggs in AM
coffee

cookie
green beans
meatballs
some rice
coffee

Fast in AM

headache


WEIGHT: 255
CAFFEINE: coffee
SLEEP: 8 hrs. need more
SUN: no
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Apart from headache after work feel decent. Stressfull day at work. My world at work has totally changed. After 5 years I go to a totally different department. I wanted to go there years ago, but now I'm used to where I'm at. It's easy for me, and I have it down to a routine. Now I'm starting all over. Terrible timing, but probably better in the long run? Can't let it overwhelm me!

Day 155 Monday September 10

FOOD:
fast in AM

grassfed beef
broccoli

WEIGHT: 258
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Some diarrhea after dinner. I wonder. When I first started Atkins I had diarrhea. I figured out it was the bacon grease and so I dry all my bacon. I've been using some bacon grease to cook in my new stainless non stick pan. I also recently stopped using my nitrate free bacon and went back to my old brand, maple syrup flavored just cause that's all the store had. Did the grease or the maple cause it?

Somewhat productive at work. Using thinkingrock, and it rocks! New systems motivate me, but beyond that it's really awesome. I'm starting to think that the intermittent fasting is a mood booster for me. started reading more about glucose in the brain. Seems like they are finding that insulin does affect brain's ability to get glucose. So insulin resistance could conceivably affect the brain. Also, ketones appear to be a good brain fuel. Seems like going ketogenic could be good for the ADD brain. It helps parkinson's, and that's a low dopamine condition like ADD. Extreme ADD, very extreme, but related in that one respect at least, the dopamine. Hmmmm... I find myself in less of a hurry to go off the fast. Need to stay sugar free- I'm slipping. like the tortillas I had sunday.

Day 154 Sunday September 9

FOOD:
fast in AM


bacon and eggs
coffee

2 tacos with tortilla


WEIGHT: 261
CAFFEINE: lots of coffee
SLEEP: only 6 hours?
SUN: no
EXERCISE: no
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Shitty day. Surprised I'm not in a worse mood. Long story, I stopped hanging out with this guy because he's an asshole. So did most of my friends. But today, he invited everyone over to watch football, and everyone went. So I went too, against my better judgement. This guy was a total sloppy drunk dick, and seemed to say something rude to every one of my friends. But they just laugh it off and seemed to enjoy it. It was surreal to see it. I guess I used to be one of them, but come on. We stopped hanging out with this dude. Nothing's changed. There's no fucking way I'm going back over there, and if I watch football my myself the rest of the season so be it. The worst part of it is that this guy has been single as long as I have (divorced one year), and he's out getting girls online. I hate myself. And I know this guy isn't more appealing than me or anything. But he's pushy and in your face, and I'm nice and disengaged. I know that lots of women find me attractive, but I can't decide what to do about it and push myself to do something. Because I have not motivation, I'm afraid of rejection, and I don't know what to do. I used to think I was unlikeable, at least to women. Now I know that's not true- it's my own fault that I don't have success with women. I don't know which is worse to believe. To know that you're your own worst enemy. At least I could play the martyr before. Now what do I have. And this dick totally rubbing in my face that he's getting action. Thank god he's such a miserable pathetic piece of human trash, or I'd envy him. I wouldn't trade places with him for anything, but it just makes it obvious that even this doofus can figure this shit out.

Trying to find stuff online about insulin resistance and glucose in the brain. The brain is a glucose hog. Luckily our bodies can turn fat and protein into glucose, gluceoneogenesis (sp?). But, if a high carb diet, and inflammation, and lack of vitamin D, obesity and whatever else, can cause insulin resistance, the muscles can't get the glucose they need. I would imagine the brain is the same way. Less glucose could affect the brain's function, making it sluggish and disrupting executive dysfunction. That's my theory at least, and I've seen a few things to back it up.

In other news, fasting is great, not drinking or smoking is cool too. Easier than I thought, although I do worry that it isolates me even more socially. My one friend, who went through AA and MA but started again, tries to guilt trip me on this. You used to be so cool. Funny, I didn't feel cool and connected when I got high or drank. I felt like I was sloppy and overbearing with alcohol, and weed made me paranoid, even more antisocial, unmotivated and scatter brained.

Also, I noticed that when I eat carbs, I get a headache sometimes.

I feel like I'm getting taller. I think I'm just standing up straiter. Is it the weight loss, or the Vitamin D? I measured myself and I didn't really grow though, lol!

Day 153 Saturday September 8

FOOD:

3 oz roast beef
4 oz line caught tuna

5 popeyes chicken nuggets, with bbq sauce
cajun rice
cole slaw
diet coke

WEIGHT: 259
CAFFEINE: lots coffee
SLEEP: 7-8 hours
SUN: 30 min at noon
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Got up, got sun, did lots of errands. Working with thinkingrock program and it kicks ass. Once the novelty wears off I hope it still helps me stay productive. Feeling a little overwhelmed at work recently. Feeling rising confidence with dating, still super far off. But starting to think about getting back in the game. In a decent mood today- more energy. I actually like the intermittent fasting. Feel like my head is clearer. Which makes me think that I would be like that all the time except for the rice and bbq sauce and other shit I keep eating. I need to get back to basics. Which means cooking my own meals at home. The last few times I made ground beef I put a little broccoli in it. That was good. I go up and down in mood quite rapidly.

Haven't walked or used health club in quite a while. I've changed my routine lately, and I'm not good at set shifting. Need to start new habits now, with my new schedule. Exercise, eating, sun/tanning, sleep. I finally smashed through the 260 barrier. Hope the next ten are easier. Lots of compliments at work on my appearance. But of course I discout all of it. I may look much better, but I know I'm such an antisocial lame ass I won't be able to capitalize on it anyway. I see guys who don't look like anything with hot chicks. I may not know much, but I know THAT's not the big key. It's confidence and taking charge. Too bad I suck at that. :( No, the health stuff I do for ME. What I want is oddly enough mental health first, and physical health second. Guess I should focuse even more on exercise, eating, sun and sleep if I want to heal my brain. I want to be more ambitious, alert, focused, happy, and confident. I want to stop spinning my wheels and set goals and achieve them. I want this thinkingrock program to help me with this.

I actually thought today I had better get back into blogging, because I was in such a good mood, I thought I need to record this and try to figure out what I'm doing that is causing this. I think it's the Intermittent fasting, really. Not what I would have expected. I find myself ravenous when I do eat, but I've realized it's about half mental. If I calm myself, I dont' feel super hungry or dying to break the fast. It's definately an interesting experience.

Day 152 Thursday september 7

FOOD:
bacon eggs coffee

chicken nuggets
big cookie
peas
mac and cheese side

grassfed beef
a few broccoli pieces

fast in PM


WEIGHT: 259
CAFFEINE: lots
SLEEP: 7-8 hours? not sleeping as much, and I FEEL it. 8 hours is NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!
SUN: no
EXERCISE: no
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS: TGIF
hang out at home at night. working with thinking rock program. surfing the web. Thinking more about dating recently. buy some new clothes. My waist is down from 58" to 48"

Sleep time is drifting later each day. Feeling tired with only 8 hours sleep. This is interesting. Reading the book "women with ADD", and looking at the BAAD scale from thomas e brown.com, low arousal, really a sleepy brain, is associated with inattentive ADD. Procrastination, no energy, lack of focus, etc. I know that sleep deprivation is associated with an antidepressant effect. Maybe that only works in the short term, and then you burn out? I know also that sleep apnea is associated with ADD. Not sure if ADD causes cravings for drugs and glucose, which makes you fat and then you can't sleep. Or if diabetes causes less glucose to get to the brain.

Day 147 Sunday 9/2/07

FOOD:
Fast in AM

bacon and eggs
grassfed beef
coffee
peanut sauc on beef

cheese sticks

10 chicken nuggests/ bbq
diet coke
dbl cheeseburger no bun


WEIGHT: 263
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:

Day 146 Saturday September 1

FOOD:
bacon and eggs
line caught tuna

popeyes chicken nuggets with bbq sauce
diet pop

WEIGHT: 264
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:
FASTING: in the PM

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:

Day 145 Friday 8/31/07

FOOD:
1 beer
italian beef no bread
chicken sandwich no bread burger king
triple burger no bread burger king


WEIGHT: 264
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:
FASTING in the AM

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:

Day 144 Wed 8/30

FOOD:
coffee
grassfed stew
diet pepsi

more grassfed stew


WEIGHT: 267
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN: YES
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:
FASTING:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
This is day 2 of Intermittant fasting, in the PM today

Day 143 Wed 8/29

FOOD:
line caught tuna

bacon and eggs
3 oz liver


WEIGHT: 270
CAFFEINE:
SLEEP:
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:
FASTING: in the AM

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:

Day 142 Tuesday August 28

FOOD:

sausage egg and cheese mcgriddle
coffee

chocolate donut

pizza with crust
2 diet 7 up

spaghetti
garlic bread
diet pepsi

WEIGHT: 270
CAFFEINE: coffee, 3 diet pop
SLEEP: 8 hours
SUN:
EXERCISE:
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
First, 8 hours of sleep and I feel tired! Second, when I ate carbs a week ago that triggered about 8 days of eating carbs and a weight gain of about 7 pounds. Third, today is my birthday, and I feel fine. My gift to myself is getting a handle on carbs again. This isn't a crash weight loss here. This is learning habits that I can use the rest of my life. I think I will experiment with the intermittent fasting, just for the hell of it. Starting at 5PM today. I will not eat until tomorrow at 5PM. 24 hours of no food! Exciting stuff!