Day 132 Saturday August 18

FOOD:

Grassfed stew- meat only- made it in crockpot and it turned out well.

1/2 bbq chicken
one potato w/o skin "greek potato" with oil
1 garlic bread
cole slaw

popeyes 5 chicken tender things
bbq sauce
cajun rice
diet pop

WEIGHT: 263
CAFFEINE: small coffee, 2 diet pops
SLEEP: 10 hours
SUN:none
EXERCISE: none
BLOOD SUGAR:
KETONES:

EVENTS/MOOD/ALERTNESS:
Met some old friends. Helped a buddy, he bought me lunch, I ate carbs. This is a pattern for me. If I buy my own food I eat what I want. I thought I was going low carb with the chicken choice, but didn't realize it was bbq, and the rice and potatoes came along, and I feel bad throwing out food someone else bought. I need to get over that. Also could have made better selection. Then I got carb cravings and stopped at Popeyes later. God, carbs are so totally a drug, it's hard to believe people don't see it. It's more addictive than cigarettes, alcohol, pot, coffee. And it's everywhere! Not a good day, but I didn't drink at least, and I enjoyed seeing old friends today. Not going to let myself feel bad. I'm down to 263 for heaven's sake. People comment on how good I look. Why can't I enjoy myself and let it go? Guess I'm worried about slipping and going back to being so overweight and crappy feeling.

Also, finding good stuff online about connections between insulin insensitivity, depression, and executive dysfunction. I'm doing this not as much to look better, but to improve my mood. Keeping this log is a part of that, because I reflect on how food and exercise impact my mood. I want to keep this thing up to date. Filling in info post facto is a bust, because I don't have the other half of the puzzle, how I felt that day.

Also, I've been sleeping 10 hours a day. Feeling a little bit more rested. Don't know that my mood has improved much. Going to be hard to continue this when I start working more. I am dreaming alot more. Starting to taper off caffeine. I read that cortisol, the stress hormone, is increased by coffee and alcohol. And I read that it can cause cravings for carbs, depression, anxiety and insulin insensitivity. Possible another piece of the puzzle here.